YZFZZQNG_59
An Islamic Perspective on Sexual Relationships
09/16/2015
329
No Comments
Share Topic

Islamic teachings are not confined to the legislation and description of the rituals which man
performs as acts of worship and devotion toward his Creator. Islam is a complete way of life
that provides divine guidance in all matters and this includes (contrary to popular belief
human sexuality.
The Qur`an speaks of human sexuality and man’s need of woman and woman’s need of man
and describes it as one of the most intrinsic of needs.
“…They (women) are a garment for you and you (men) are a garment for them…” (Al
Baqarah) 2:187
Some of the scholars have said in explanation of this verse: “The two partners have been
described as “garments” for one another to demonstrate their inherent need for each other.
The husband cannot do without the wife, so she is like a “garment” for him (his need for her is
similar to his intrinsic need for clothing to cover his nakedness), and likewise she cannot do
without him, so he is like a “garment” for her.”
The Qur`an also informs that this desire for sexual pleasure can be very strong, at times,
overpowering. That is because man by nature is a “weak” creature, easily tempted and
lacking in self-restraint.
Because man’s attraction to the opposite sex, if uncontrolled, could lead to great harm, clear
uidance is needed to regulate his or her behavior and desires. Islam has provided clear
guidelines through the application of which, man can satisfy his need for sexual pleasure
while avoiding his Lord’s displeasure. What follows is a presentation of these guidelines.
——————————————————————————–
Islam’s Approach to Sex Education
In a number of Qur`anic verses, reference is made to sexual relations:
“Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your
garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among
yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek
what Allah hath ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn appear to
you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not
associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are limits (set by)
Allah: approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may
learn self-restraint” (Al-Baqarah) 2:187
“And how could you take back (the dowry) which you have given her and you have gone in
unto each other…” (An-Nisa) 4:21
“ It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order
that he might dwell with her (in love). When they are united in intimate relationship, she bears
a light burden and carries it about (unnoticed). When she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah
their Lord, (saying): If Thou givest us a goodly child, we vow we shall (ever) be grateful.” (Al-
Araf) 7:189
Contemplate these verses. You will notice that in each of them the sexual relationship
between men and women has not been referred to candidly using the word “sex”. Rather, in
all of them subtle reference has been made to intimate relationship within marriage. God
refers to the sexual relationship as “approaching”, “going in unto each other”, “touching”, and
“uniting”.
Muslim scholars explain: “Touching”, and “enveloping” refer to sexual relations, but God
alludes and uses an indirect expression (instead of bluntly mentioning the term).
In this way God teaches Muslims two matters:
1. That discussion of these matters when necessary is permitted.
2. That when they do so, Muslims should speak about these matters in a manner keeping with
Islamic decency using moral terms and strictly avoiding the detestable and obscene.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) recognizing the need for clarity, was also willing to discuss and
clarify these matters for his companions. From here one can clearly conclude that in Islam,
education about matters related to intimate relationships within marriage is acceptable. Islam
simply insists that sex education be taught in a way that informs young and old alike without
compromising Islam’s high standard of modesty and moral decency.
——————————————————————————–
Islam Permits Sexuality in the Confines of Marriage
Although intimacy plays a prominent role in marriage, it is not the sole purpose of matrimony.
The following verse describes the marital relationship as God, the Lord of the worlds intended
it to be:
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find
tranquility in them; and He placed between the two of you affection and mercy. Indeed in that
are signs for people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum) 30:21
One of the Qur`anic commentators said: “And of his signs… which are indicative of His mercy,
kindness and concern for His servants and His great wisdom and His all-encompassing
knowledge… He created for you from yourselves mates… well suited to you and to whom
youare well suited, (created in your likeness and image) they are similar to you and you are
sim
ilar to them… that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and
mercy… with what He has placed in marriage from those matters which bring about love and
mercy; (sexual) pleasure, enjoyment and sensual delight are achieved through the spouse
and great benefit is obtained by having, raising and rearing children (with him or her). In
addition to the repose and tranquil feeling (he or she) provides. Indeed one rarely finds
between two people the kind of love and mercy that one finds between husband and wife.”
Sexual activity in Islam is confined to marital relationships between men and women. In the
Muslim faith, celibacy at the very least is strongly discouraged while strict chastity is required.
The solution to this apparent dilemma is matrimony. Islam encourages its followers to get
married and offers marriage as a solution to the “problem” of human sexuality.
God says:
“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your
choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them),
then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to
prevent you from doing injustice.” (An-Nisa) 4:3 1
Several Prophetic sayings regarding human sexuality have been collected by famous Muslim
Scholars. Some of these sayings include:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “O party of young men, whoever from amongst you possesses the
financial ability to get married then let him get married for it will better enable him to lower his
gaze and preserve his chastity.”
One of the main purposes of sexual relations in Islam is procreation. Muslims are encouraged
to make love with the intention of child-bearing.
God says:
Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your
garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among
yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek
what Allah hath ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn appear to
you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not
associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are limits (set by)
Allah: approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may
learn self-restraint. (Al-Baqarah) 2:187
——————————————————————————–
Foreplay
slam urges couples to make their intimate relationships within marriage just that; an
expression of love, compassion, closeness, and intimacy shared by two people joined by the
greatest of unions not a mere animalistic activity. The husband is therefore encouraged to
“play” with his wife. Similarly, the wife is encouraged to “play” with her husband.
The concept of mutual satisfaction is also emphasized in Islam. Both partners should seek to
ensure that gratification is achieved by the other and not merely concern themselves with their
own personal gratification. The scholars of Islam have mentioned that it is disliked that the
man should “stop” before the woman has an orgasm because by doing so “he causes her to
miss out on complete enjoyment, and he prohibits her from full pleasure.”
In spite of the great emphasis that Islam has placed on the continuity of the marriage bond
and how emphatically it discourages divorce, sexual dissatisfaction is considered a legitimate
grounds for requesting divorce whether from the part of the husband or the wife. Some of the
leading Islamic scholars have mentioned:
“The woman’s suffering because of her husband’s failure to be intimate with her is a grounds
for annulment regardless of the circumstances, whether this failure was intentional or
unintentional, whether he was capable or incapable.”
This indicates the great importance Islam has assigned to the fulfillment of this natural desire
in a lawful manner that prevents the seeking of gratification through illegitimate means.
Although Islam permits husband and wife to “experiment” and explore new ways of arousing,
inciting and satisfying each other it does not allow sodomy.
The Prophet has been authentically recorded as saying: “Cursed is he; the one who
approaches a woman in her backside.”
Finally, husband and wife are commanded to keep their private sensual encounters private
and they are strictly prohibited from revealing the secrets of their love-making.
It was reported that the Prophet (PBUH) was sitting with a gathering of people, whereupon he
said: “Perhaps a man says what he does with his wife, and perhaps a woman tells what she
does with her husband?!” All remained silent and no one said a word; whereupon Asmaa’
spoke up; she said: “Yes! By God, O Messenger of God!
——————————————————————————–
Islam and Alternative Lifestyles
Since Islam insists that sex can and must only occur between husband and wife in the
confines of marriage, all other forms of sexual expression are strictly prohibited and deemed
an abomination and a departure from what is “normal”, “suitable”, and “accepted”. Islam’s
view of these “alternatives” to marriage is as follows:
Extra-Marital Sex
Because of the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of marriage, Muslims are
prohibited by God from such behavior. Islam acknowledges that men and women are
instinctively attracted to each other. They also instinctively incline toward expressing this
attraction through intimacy. In keeping with divine wisdom and mercy, Muslims are advised to
behave in a way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or pre-marital
sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men figures prominently as a
means of enabling self-control. Similarly, unmarried men and women are cautioned against
spending time alone in isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their feelings
less inhibited; likely resulting in the occurrence of the prohibited.
Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the potential for unwanted
pregnancies, transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and
marriage (in cases of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting from the
lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside of marriage. As in other
religions, extra- and pre-marital sex are considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does
not simply forbid or allow behavior whimsically, but does so for our best interest, guiding us
away from potentially destructive behavior and towards behavior that allows us to realize our
potential as upright intelligent human beings in this life and the next.
Homosexuality
As previously mentioned, the Muslim faith prohibits all forms of sexual expression except
heterosexual marriage; this necessitates the prohibition of homosexuality and lesbianism.
Islamic teachings are adamant about this prohibition and deem homosexual acts a great
crime which warrants severe punishment.
Masturbation
Islam encourages young men and women who feel the need for sexual intimate relationships
to marry. If circumstances do not permit, Islam urges them to occupy themselves with
religious devotions like fasting which will weaken their passion for these relationships while
increasing their faith and therefore their ability to avoid the unlawful. Islam does not permit
them to seek sexual satisfaction through any other means and this includes masturbation.
The scholars of Islam consider the following verse a proof for the prohibition of this practice:
“And those who guard their private parts (will be successful). Except from their wives2 or their
right hand possessions (female slave girls)3, for indeed they will not be blamed. But whoever
seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.” (Al-Muminun) 23:5-7
The scholars say that the verse is a general prohibition of all forms of intercourse and sexual
behavior other than that performed with one’s spouse. However, Islamic scholars permit
masturbation if it is necessary to avoid unlawful sexual acts, but this is an exception and
Muslims should no practice it.
In conclusion, it should be clear from the above that Islam has weighed in heavily on the issue
of human sexuality and has provided its followers with clear guidelines which steer their
sexual activity in the right direction and enable them to fulfill thei atural desire for intimacy in
a moral, decent, and divinely acceptable manner.
——————————————————————————-
(1) See discussion of Polygamy in Islam in the Misconception section.
(2) See discussion of Polygamy in the section of Misconceptions
(3) At the beginning of Islam, slavery was accepted because it was the practice of all nations
of the world. Islam supported slaves emancipation from early Muslim state. Later, all nations
of the world agreed to abandon it. Islam and Muslims are among the supporters of slaves emancipation, basing it on the general principle of equality in Islam.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Please Add the Values